I mentioned in my last post that me and Andrew had gotten into a fight. Since then, we had talked it over and we've worked things out. At that moment in time though, I was having a horrible day and when my boyfriend told me he was at another girl's house, even with friends, it made my day even worse.

I suppose I'll start from the beginning. Andrew knows this girl, Lindsay, through one of his guy friends. So Lindsay plays on Xbox Live with Andrew and all his friends. They talk quite a bit and he's mentioned her here and there to me. You could call them friends, though they had never met.

Around Christmas time, Andrew was kind enough to take me to the mall to buy Becky, my best friend, her Christmas present. Lindsay happens to work there as well, so after I had bought my present, he asked if I would mind if we went and met her, as Andrew had never met her offline before. I wasn't really thinking about it, I was just concerned to get home so I could watch Glee (yeah... I'm a pretty big fan!). He took me home instead of meeting her, and I really didn't spend a lot of time thinking about it.

Friday, I'd been running around with my mom, or I guess I should say, my mom was running around and Andrew mentioned he was going to hang out with his friends. Later on, around three or four, he said something kinda weird, and then he explained that he was at Lindsay's house.

What was going through my mind right then, I don't really know. I think there were so many things running through that it sounded something like: he's at another girl's house that he's been wanting to meet and they're good friends are you serious oh wait I need to calm down he's with friends and he wouldn't do anything what no I do not need to calm down he is at another girl's house and I'm completely pissed off and he could have had the decency to tell me in the first place what a douche-bag okay deep breath he's with friends... and on and on.

I didn't reply to his text. I thought it best that I just cooled down and thought it over a little bit before I told him how I felt. As time passed though, I didn't cool down; I became more angry and more bitter. I didn't want to talk to him. I didn't want anything to do with him. He texted me later on, since I hadn't responded, and asked if I was mad at him, and if so why?

Why? Why am I mad at you? Oh I don't know, you're at another girl's house, that you're friends with, and have been wanting to meet. Nope, I don't see anything wrong with that picture!

In an uncivilized manner, I managed to rephrase what I said above and say it in a manner that clearly said I was not happy. After a few more texts back and forth, he apologized and said he was sorry. He said he realized he shouldn't gone over to her house around the same time that his mom texted him asking him why he was at another girl's house, without me. He realized he shouldn't have gone over to her house without telling me first and that he messed up.

He left shortly after and we talked things through on the phone. He said that he hadn't realized before he went over how it might've looked to me, and that it would've bothered me because he went with friends. I asked him calmly how he would've felt if I went to one of my good guy friend's house, Nirav, with Becky and a few other single girls. (As a side note, Andrew believes Nirav likes me--untrue!) He said he would've been a bit angry and that he would've not been comfortable with it. I told him I was in the same situation.

You could say all in all, it was somewhat a misunderstanding, and somewhat not thinking things through. Looking back at it, now that I'm not angry and have moved on, I think I sort of overreacted. I trust Andrew I also think though, that he should've told me ahead of time and made sure I was comfortable with it. So I'm not really sure if the way I acted was just or not. What do you guys honestly think? Was I in the wrong, or was he?
 


Comments

01/15/2011 10:59pm

Sorry you guys got in a fight. D: I probably would have been concerned too if that had happened to me. I am glad you have gotten it worked out, though!

I wouldn't trust my dating advice at all because I have never been in a relationship before, but if I was in that situation I might've been okay with it. I mean, I don't know what it feels like to be romantically attached to someone, but I wouldn't want any boyfriend I have to not be allowed to have girl friends because of me. I'm not trying to make you seem like the bad guy, though! If I were actually in that situation I bet I would be mad. xD

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Nice music! Lily Allen is pretty cool. Ah yes, Keith Urban is pretty cool. My sixth grade English teacher was obsessed with him. ;D I like The Script but I don't really listen to them. Ooh, cool! I love Youtube artists. They are always the best.

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01/16/2011 7:07pm

Hey thanks for your nice comment Becca! I know it may sound like a pie in the sky dream to a lot of other people when in fact I have never even been to Japan, but still! It feels like I have you know? But anyway...

I'm sorry you guys got into a fight. Trust is a very special thing between two people lovers or best friends. You gotta have it and if you don't, you might as well; kiss whatever you have with that person goodbye. I think you reacted fine. If I had a boyfriend and he did that to me, I probably would've re-acted the same way. Like they say every action has a reaction. It's like the thing with Takuto and I. I maybe overreacting or something but he's been super busy (or so he states in his last email he wrote me) and yeah at the time I did get upset because we didn't talk for a week and a few days. I finally bitched at him and than later apologized and he knows about my health problems so he's just like very concerned about it ya know? So he said he was never mad at me and can't get mad at me. We finally spoke yesterday for a short time, but it wasn't even like a few minutes. He just came home to take a shower and than he had to leave. He said he'd reply to my newest email later, but he never did so I dunno what he meant by 'later' or whatever. I'm like having mixed emotions about him now. It's like Okay, if he comes online (which he was earlier this morning than logged on as soon as I did weird right? but I think it was because he didn't want to be bombarded by me so I guess he's telling me he wants some space?) he can contact me. I'm not gonna contact him any more. So yeah. But still it's like hurting me in a way. Yeah I do flirt with other Japanese men, but it's not the same. I don't feel comfortable with a lot of them, because I really don't know them, that well; well; except for a few because they're my friend Ayuko's friends. But even at that I feel really comfortable with this one guy who is three years older than I am I believe, but anyway...I dunno. Good luck!

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01/17/2011 6:18pm

I bet you all the money in the world that if any girl was in your situation, they would have been just as mad. It's okay to be angry, i mean, he should have invited you to see her too. I'm pretty sure though, he wouldn't of done anything that would upset you.

My friend was in this problem once. She was too scared and afraid her boyfriend would think she was selfish, so she didn't say anything. He had no idea how she felt so he kept hanging out with his new lady friend (a foreign exchange student he had to house). So every time my friend would see her with him she would be so angry and jelouse. One time he called off a date because he and his lady friend were going to mc'donalds (she has never been so he had to take her to an American resturant).

My friend was so angry, but she didn't say anything, he has no idea still how much it bothers her. It's good that you told him how you felt.

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01/17/2011 6:26pm

Aww. *hugs* I wrote a blog before my current one (http://heartdrops.org/almost-three-years-of-love/) which I think really relates to this. You and Andrew have a good relationship and something like this truly was just a misunderstanding. You do still trust him and he trusts you in the same way. That's important in any relationship. But of course when it comes to other girls, you might get suspicious, maybe get the wrong idea. *hugs* I hope all is okay now; it sounds like it is. I haven't had this kind of problem with James, but sometimes I get angry for small things and think I overreacted. In the moment, I'm sure you had your thoughts, and I'd probably have had similar thoughts too.

James got a little iffy when I started hanging around my male friends more, when he wasn't around. Of course things were going through his mind even though he really trusts me. Sometimes these things just need a talk out. I mean, you don't know Lindsay, so maybe that added to the insecurity you were perhaps feeling. You trust Andrew but maybe not her. Of course if it was Becky and Andrew you'd trust them a heck of a lot more.

So you definitely didn't overreact, and you did the right thing in talking it out. ^^

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01/17/2011 9:41pm

Thank you! It is very pretty. (:

Yeah, I understand what you mean. I love the way that young women in their early 20s dress now but it's a bit too sophisticated for me. I also love those dresses where the bottom half is just black and then above the waistband there is some kind of colored shirt, but I have never gotten one. D:

That's cool! I don't mind dresses, but I guess I would just prefer... sweatpants. ;D

Yeah, I want to wear flats but then I might be a bit too short for him. I'm about two inches shorter than he is.

Sure. (: I am really glad you guys sorted it out! You sound so cute together. c:

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01/17/2011 9:56pm

I stupidly forgot to say in my last comment that I love the new layout! :D

Yeah, I really like those. You should definitely get one! I think those are a bit too old for me too. xD

Psh, even if I don't wake up late I still wear them. I'm wearing them now. Haha.

Ah, okay. Well... I dunno. I'll see if I can find one and a half inch heels. That sounds good to me. (:

You are very welcome!

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01/18/2011 9:44am

Aw, I'm glad you guys sorted it out.

I think the key to a good relationship is to just communicate. That's like one of the reason most couples break up because they don't wanna talk about whatever the issue is. Which, if you think about, is silly really.

At least he imagined how things would have been if he was in that situation. I probably would have been angry too if my boyfriend was over at a girl's house. x

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01/18/2011 7:47pm

I'm so glad you guys worked the fight out! And I love the new layout, by the way! :)

I can't really say from experience, but every relationship has its ups and downs. If you guys can get into a disagreement about something and then make amends, it goes to show how strong your relationship is. I think that him going to another girl's house is acceptable, but I definitely see where you are coming from. If I had a boyfriend, I would be VERY uncomfortable and a little pissed if I suddenly learned he was hanging out with some girl I'd never even heard about. In my opinion, he should have told you where he was going first, explained that he and this girl were just friends, and made sure that you were absolutely comfortable with it.



Thank you! Wow, you've been blogging for two years? That's impressive. :)

Awww, how cute! You and Andrew sound like one of those adorably adorable couples.

That's neat that you like tennis! I've always enjoyed going down to the tennis courts and beating the ball around with some friends, even though I stink at it. I miserably, horribly, terribly stink at it.

Simple things are great too! It's been scientifically prove that the simple things in life make people happier in the long run. :)

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01/18/2011 9:07pm

Just wanted to say thank you for the comment! :D I have only had my laptop for two years (not even!) so I was freaking out it would die. I know laptops don't last very long but I still get worried and I do still hope that mine lasts longer than the standard laptop. XD I have a desktop computer that I've had since 2003. It still works but it's crazy because it once got infected with so many viruses. D:

You're welcome! <33 So glad you guys could sort it out. :)

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01/19/2011 11:28am

Aw, thanks :) CSS does wondrous things!

It would definitely be embarrassing - more so for me though because everyone would see that I actually let him treat me like shit -.- Sigh. Some girls, eh. x

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